What if I could change the world?

What if? Why not admit to the fact that I can, and will, change the world. I will change the world into anything I want it to be.
Problem is, most of the time, I don’t know what to change it into. And the world, being this ever changing thing that it is, then starts to decide for itself what it’ll change into. And before you know it the world is a place that is changing around you and maybe even inside of you, into something that doesn’t quite fit you. And it starts to feel uneasy, uncomfortable. And you get caught up in that feeling and before you know it you are blaming the world for everything that is going wrong, everything that feels wrong, that doesn’t fit. Before long, you forget that you yourself never told the world what to change into, and now you are blaming this creature, the world, for the life that you do not want to live. You are blaming a creature that has a lot of abilities and lacks exactly one, namely the ability to stop and wait for you to make up your mind.
We have the ability to be indecisive, we have the ability to not decide about things. Or so you would conclude from this. But then how is it that we feel uncomfortable when we don’t decide? That is because you actually did make a decision, but for some known or unknown reason you also decided not to acknowledge that decision, to ignore it or just not recognize it. Instead you actually decided to let the world become this uneasy fit on you so that you get this thing to blame for all your mistakes and whatever else went and is still going wrong in your life. Because the other decision was to actually take responsibility for your life and choose what the world would look like for you. Or at the very least choose the lesser evil, if a joyous choice wasn’t an option for you then.
My advice would be to choose responsibility, because the evil really does diminish with ever conscious choice you make. True, you can’t win them all,
but you can also choose to not let them all win.



About gembolding

32 yo restaurant co-owner in the Netherlands. I am also short, fat, gay, deaf, cross-continentally partnered and addicted to chocolate, fudge and fries. View all posts by gembolding

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